tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1186255399661769595.post8447862810282633433..comments2010-07-22T14:24:07.307-07:00Comments on my search for real magic: Redefining Chivalry in a World of Automatic Doorsceirhwynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379025873870085186noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1186255399661769595.post-59929872754585953572010-07-20T21:18:26.120-07:002010-07-20T21:18:26.120-07:00My thoughts are pretty similar to this in that I b...My thoughts are pretty similar to this in that I believe in common courtesy for everyone, regardless of the gender of either party. I've been known to give men flowers, open doors for them, and all that good stuff. If they return the favor because it gives them a warm and fuzzy feeling to be nice to me - great. But if they do it because I'm a woman and that's how men should treat women, then not so great in my mind.<br /><br />But I also think of it on the level of power, because when it is always the man paying, driving, taking the woman places, and everything else, he has all the control. When a man takes a woman to an expensive restaurant, even if he is a nice enough guy that he isn't thinking, "She better be putting out after that $50 steak", there is still a sense of obligation created by his spending money on her. He still has all the power in this situation. And when men are "taking care" of women, even if he just thinks he's being a nice guy, it still creates a dynamic where the woman relies on the man and the man controls the situation, again giving him all the power.<br /><br />I've heard a lot of men whine that women want equal rights but they still want men to pay for them, open doors for them, and buy them shiny things. Well I sure as hell don't. Personally, I find the "women should be payed for and pampered and protected" philosophy to be just as repulsive as the "women belong in the kitchen" philosophy. However, the former actually scares me more because it's a lot harder to get people to realize that there is anything wrong with it. It's a much more subtle type of sexism, yet no less harmful.Allisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13297163785097967576noreply@blogger.com